Once in a while a film is so incredibly bad that you spend its duration wondering just how it was allowed to come to cinemas. This sequel to the 2013 Stallone/Schwarzenegger thriller is very much one of those, with even Arnie – hardly the most discerning of Hollywood actors – opting to sit this one out.
The other half of the duo, Stallone, is a peripheral character amidst his team of wooden security experts somehow trapped in Hades, a sophisticated underground prison referred to as The Zoo. Theres a reason for this – something to do with a software patent – but the story is an essentially an unfathomable rehash of the first film, replete with absurd dialogue, amateur editing, and a roster of interchangeable action men. Stallones incessant voice over partially glosses over the fact he doesnt do anything of significance for over an hour, while co-star Dave Bautista has absolutely no bearing on the plot. Even the primary antagonist, The Zookeeper (Titus Welliver), looks bored.
Stallone has laid some rotten eggs in his career, but few are as cynical as this. He will no doubt redeem himself with the upcoming Creed sequel, but fans of his work are advised to pretend this ill-judged outing doesnt exist.
